TAF 10:30-11:45a

TAF 10:30-11:45a

To kick-start my Radical Honesty, I'll post this paperblog entry here.
While I was waiting outside (just now: [the] teacher called my name in roll-call but didn't look up. My thought: I must be more memorable than I thought) the classroom being as honest as I could be about everything I saw:
- saw some girls who wore clothes they [prob'ly] shouldn't  have worn walked by me; tight jackets, tight t-shirts, skinny jeans ("skinnies" lol!)....just not flattering. But, to me, they [sometimes] can be a sight for sore eyes, so I'm not complaining. ;)
- one guy who stood adjacent to me as I waited - at first glance I thought (in class: my teacher keeps saying "vibe" in terms of poetry and emotions but I'm immature right now) he had a rugged face, which was my only thought before I saw that his face was a mix of stubble and acne (pretty, pretty, pretty). And this is something that really bothers me: ALL his clothes were NEW. All that was missing were the price tags; white t-shirt, faux leather jacket, black skinny jeans, black chucks (and I say 'chucks' bc the non-conformist in me won't say 'converse').
- I don't know what happened or how long this'll last but while I was waiting in the hallway (sidenote: I'm really tired: Chloe woke me up at 4:47a) and this vice called anxiety/shyness seemed to loosen and I could look people in the eye and not care. It'll prob'ly wear off when I get home since there aren't any people I can't look in the eye there (except myself sometimes, but not recently; my hair's been okay and the cuts on my face and neck are almost healed. Maybe I can be cute at certain angles....). (10:50a) It's still grip is still slack - I'm not afraid of other people and if their eyes scrutinize (and [then] I must say: "I'm no poet? Don't I know it." I made that up; when I did I felt clever).
- I've noticed that so far, the whole time I've been at Chabot, there's always been an older black woman in at least one class who asks a lot of questions (Summer '09: Health, Fall '09: English, Spring '10: TAF). (I'm sitting in class, trying to look like I'm thinking about the questions the teacher's asking; I'm a fake, I'm a fake, I'm a fake.)
- My friend sent me a torrent for this yaoi game and I "played" it for a couple hours yesterday....I just don't like the art, so I'm not getting anything from it. (Characters look like this.) The main character's been raped a few times and I don't think it'll stop. Oddly I want to finish it to see what happens.

And a quote from Alisa (or The Dumbass):
"You won't get that high when you're injecting."
(Talking about [the] drug use in Lou Reed's poem "Romeo Had Juliette".)